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雅思写作

如何让雅思作文中的句子变得更简洁

2018-09-07

来源:环球教育

小编:长安 148
摘要:

  要想雅思作文分数高,就需要尽量使句子变得简洁。南京环球教育陆雅芮老师在此文中将介绍雅思作文中一些不必要连词的省略方法:结果连词(so…that…; such…that…)和目的连词(in order to)。


  如何避免使用so…that…; such…that…

  由so…that…和such…that…引导的从句通常表示"如此……以至于……"的意思,两者的差别是前者和形容词搭配使用,后着和名词一起使用。如果滥用此句型,效果反而不好。其实在很多情况下,这个结构都是可以省略的。下面结合一些例句具体阐述。

  1.原句:The comedian was so funny that as soon as he started talking people larughed.

  修改:The comedian soon had people all laughing.

  点评:分析原句,其核心信息是"喜剧演员逗笑了众人",本身已经暗含了"滑稽(fuuny)"之意,无需再使用so funny that结构。

  2.原句:Jackie Chan was such a wonderful singer that his songs held eleven thousand people breathless.

  修改:Jackie Chan's song held eleven thousand people breathless.

  点评:和上个句子类似,singer和songs在意思上有重复之处,直接说出句子的核心意思"Jackie Chan的歌令11000人屏住了呼吸"即可,无需再重复such a wonderful singer这个信息。

  3.原句:This is such an indispensable book that anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality should possess one.

  修改:This is an indispensable book for anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality.

  点评:分析原句的结构和意思,indispensable(不可或缺的)已经充分表现了这本书的价值,再用"such…that…"结构进行强调便属多余。

  4.原句:The professor was so quick-witted and so knowledgeable of the theater that he was instantly recognized as the best critic in his country.

  修改:The professor's quick wit and awesome knowledge of the theater had won him instant recognition as the best critic in his country.

  点评:将so引导的从句改写为名词词组,并用适当的方式与主句连接。

  5.原句:Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, so they could see only a blank wall surrounding them.

  修改:Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, their only vista a blank wall.

  点评:将so引导的从句改写成独立主格形式。

  6.原句:It was such an exhilarating experience that he felt dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.

  修改:It was an exhilarating experience, one that left him dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.

  点评:分析原句的意思和结构,完全没有必要使用"such…that…"结构,可以写为同位语。

  如何避免使用in order to

  In order to这个词组意为"为了"或"以达到……目的",在许多情况下,in order to可以简化为to。

  1.原句:In order to advance his or her career, a genius needs strong financial support.

  修改:① A genius needs strong financial support to further his or her career.

  ② All geniuses need strong financial support to further their careers.

  点评:分析原句的意思,in order to表目的,可用更为简洁的to代替,且为了使句子更紧凑,可调整句子的顺序,详见句①。但句①还有一个问题,出现了his or her,显得臃肿。我们可以根据原句的句意,将其改写成复数形式their,详见句②。

  2.原句:During rush hours in Hanoi, cars often scoot into bike lanes in order to get ahead of the traffic jams.

  修改:During rush hours in Hanoi, cars often scoot into bike lanes to cut through the traffic jams.

  点评:改in order to为to。词组get ahead of意味"超过……","超过塞车"这个搭配不是很好,应该为cut through,意味"穿过"。

  3.原句:In order to prepare for millions of visitors for millennium celebrations, the city has launched many projects, some ambitious, some modest, to beautify and modernize itself.

  修改:Some projects are ambitious, others modest, and all will beautify and modernize a city expecting millions of visitors for millennium celebrations.

  点评:分析原句的意思,in order to prepare for简化为expecting;加入some、others、all这三个词可使不同project的逻辑关系更清晰。

  并不是不能使用这些连词或句型,而是在适当的情况下,即去掉改连词也能理解其意的时候,可以进行省略或做出改写。

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