雅思写作如何使句子更加简洁

　　在英语写作过程中，学生们为了使自己的文章显得更有文采，常常会运用到一些固定句型。如果能运用的恰到好处，能为文章增色不少，但有些固定句型并没有实际的意义，反而能使文章读起来觉得废话多、更加累赘。为了让句子显得更加简洁有力，我们在写作中应尽量避免使用这些没有实际意义的固定句型，如but, not only...but also, if, although, even though, so...that, in order to, there be..., the fact that...等等，多使用一些有实际意义且生动形象的动词、名词或短句。当然，并不是说不能用这些单词、词组或句式结构，而是过度使用就会显得十分公式化、套路化，导致句式缺乏变化，没有新意。下面，就结合一些例句，来说明应该在何种情况下避免使用这些句型，来达到句式灵活变化的目的。

　　如何避免使用but和not only...but also...

　　单词but和词组“not only...but also...”都表转折，大多数情况下，这个词(组)完全可以用另外的形式(如使用not、分号或简化的定语从句)来表达，以使句式更加丰富。

　　原句：The children at school were familiar with many games, but Li Hua had never even heard of them.

　　修改：The children at school were familiar with many games (that) Li Hua had never even heard of.

　　点评：原句通过but将两个简单句变成并列句，而前一句的结尾刚好是后一句的宾语，因此可以用定语从句将这一并列句变成复合句。

　　原句：The room was silent, but suddenly there was a clap of thunder outside.

　　修改：The silence of the room was broken by a sudden clap of thunder outside.

　　点评：原句仍然是用but连接的并列句，将其改成简单句。首先，需要添加一个合适的谓语，此句及break，那么对应的主语则变成了the silence of the room，用被动句将其组合。

　　原句：They were passionate lovers not only onstage but also offstage.

　　修改：They were passionate lovers onstage and offstage/off.

　　点评：not only...but also...和and都可以表示承接关系，在短句中，and则显得更加简洁。

　　原句：Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, not necessarily because she had a desire to smoke, but because she felt the need for warmth.

　　修改：Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, as much from the need for warmth as from a desire to smoke.

　　点评：原句想表达的意思较少，却觉得词相对较多，读起来较为累赘。将原句的not because...but...修改成as much from...as from...使得句子表达意思更加突出清晰。

　　原句：It was meant to be a brief kiss, but it turned into a long, lingering one.

　　修改：What was meant to be a brief kiss turned into a long, lingering one.

　　点评：同样是由but连接的并列句，将其改成主语从句之后，会觉得句子成分更加分明清楚。

　　原句：Music lightens life, but literature deepens it.

　　修改：Music lightens life; literature deepens it.

　　点评：本句的转折关系并不是那么突出，用封号相隔，更能体现其相互对应工整。

　　如何避免使用because

　　Because多用于引导原因状语从句，除此以外，它还可引导表语从句。但有的时候，句子本身可能已经包含了因果关系，就不需要再使用because一词了。还有的时候，我们可以用介词短语或者分词形式来替换because。一起看下面的例句，对比修改前后句子的差别，体会如何避免使用because从句。

　　原句：We decided to take a taxi because we missed the bus by a second.

　　修改：Missing the bus by a second, we decided to take a taxi.

　　点评：此例句因果关系非常明显，即使不提及表示因果关系的连接词，听者/读者也能知道前后句之间的关系，在此类情况下，可以省略because。当然，切忌出现双谓语的情况，相应的动词需要进行相应形式的变化。

　　原句：Because my schedule was so busy, I was not able to attend Susan’s birthday party.

　　修改：My schedule did not allow me to attend Susan’s birthday party.

　　点评：此句的变化则更加地道，运用allow这一动词将两句关系相连。

　　原句：The boy spent all his savings on the latest iPhone model and because of that he is envied by his friends.

　　修改：The boy spent all his savings on the latest iPhone model and became the envy of his friends.

　　点评：此句将because of that he is envied变成became the envy of his friends。虽然仍是并列句，但省略一个主句，使其简洁。而原句的be envied变成the envy of，由动词变成名词形式，更加书面化。

　　原句：My cousin is going to compete in “China’s Got Talent” because his singing is so good.

　　修改：My cousin’s singing is good enough to compete in “China’s Got Talent.”

　　点评：将状语从句改成be good enough to do，会更加地道。

　　这些固定句型的应用可能会使句子显得更加复杂化，甚至读起来有些中式。平时阅读英语文章时也应总结一些动词用法，动词变相应名词，省略连词改非谓语等等，并在写作过程中多练习。